I took the weekend off.  My brain was full.  Sometimes, no matter how much you need to study, there is no use.  You can look at a page for an hour and absolutely know nothing about what it said.  So, I tried to distract myself and hopefully get mentally refueled to hit the books again tomorrow.

But...do you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do, you can't get your mind off of your schoolwork?  I hate it when that happens!  Well, that was me all weekend.  No matter what I did, medicine was following me.  First of all, I went to the movies...sounds good right?  No!  I went and saw Sicko, great movie, very thought provoking, but not the movie to go see in order to get your mind OFF of medicine!  So, today I decided to watch a movie that was as far from medicine as possible...The Godfather.  NOT!  Every time someone was killed I was thinking about all of the things that was happening physically to their body....AND....how unrealistic the deaths were!  People don't die like that in real life.  All nice, quick and clean except for some blood.  I have never seen someone die.  I wonder what it will be like when I do.

Today I got my uniform in the mail. OH MY GOSH!!! I am almost speechless.  It is the most hideous thing I have ever seen.  It is made of thick white polyester material.  The top zips up in the front with a huge collar and big pockets.  That's not the the real ugly part!  It's the pants...ohhhh...the pants!  They have tapered legs and the waist hits right under my boobs!!!  The waist  has a wide band in the front with a huge piece of elastic in the back. The top is not long enough to cover my ass that has grown considerably since I have been sitting on it so much while studying!  I can't believe it.  Is it their idea to just humiliate us so much that we have absolutely no self esteem left?  Make us truly feel like absolute peons?  This is going to be so embarrassing.  How tragic!

Oh well, I'm going to go for a run with my dog now...if I am going to have to wear those hideous pants, I better make sure my butt doesn't look like cottage cheese!

So...I finished reading about Renal Disorders.  Yippee!!! I don't know if I know any more about it today than I did yesterday, but I read it. 

Well, I have to tell you about my dream last night.  Of course since I am reading about the renal system I had a dream about it.  I dreamed that I had to put in a catheter on this sleazy greasy haired guy.  I took a deep breath and pulled down the sheets.  As I began to insert the catheter, he got a hard on!!! Yuck!!! All I remember was seeing his face with this disgusting grin!!!  Boy oh boy!!!

So of course I had this dream because of all my thoughts about what it will be like to have to insert a catheter for the first time.  I guess it will be one of many procedures I will have to learn how to do.  But....that very first time will be very scary.  I've never had a catheter myself.  Does it hurt?  Is it a difficult procedure to do?

p.s.- I am sorry if anyone is offended by my use of the term "hard on" and not "erection".  But, this journal is a place where I am going to use all of the "fun" words and not worry about offending anyone.  Here I can get it all out of my system!!! And you can feel free to use the "fun" words too!!!! :-)  Also, thanks for all of the stethoscope advice!  I will work on getting one soon!.

Who ever thought that one would have to make a decision about what stethoscope to buy!  I thought a stethoscope was a stethoscope!  They all looked the same and felt equally cold on my chest all of these years of going to the doctor.  Little did I know that there was an entire market devoted to the stethoscope.  My girlfriend just asked me what kind I was going to buy.  She rattled off all of these things about different kinds...and I just laughed!  I don't know anything about them nor do I have time to think about it right now!  Also, she told me she ordered a PINK one!  A pink one?  Are you kidding me!  The last thing in the world I would want while being a student nurse is a PINK stethoscope!!!!  Who in the world would want to draw any more attention to themselves while trying to learn what the heck they were doing!?  I want to be as inconspicuous as absolutely possible.  I want to melt into the walls!!!!!!

Today I am studying the renal system for my pathophysiology class.  I have come to the conclusion that I am not interested in the renal system.  I did not enjoy it in physiology and now I am having a hard time paying attention while reading it for patho. Oh well....just 100 pages and I will be able to get to the fun stuff!..like genital and reproductive disorders...that has all the cool pictures of STD's etc. Ha!